Day Three....progress.

Haha! My kids are following right along in my footsteps. They love to "read" what I write about them. If they could have their own laptop, they would jump on that chance. Anyway, yesterday I wrote that I was going to write a letter to myself. Well, it ended up being a pep talk I guess. It went a little something like this...

Ashley, quit sitting on your butt and being frustrated about everything and everyone around you. You have been so blessed with a good man and two great kids, but you can't see it because you are blinded by the stress and heartache. Go outside, have a little fun, give yourself a break!

Wow, all that from my inner self I guess. It was totally weird that I was talking to myself, but looking at my face I could see how the stress was getting to me. As if yesterday's challenge wasn't hard enough, i've also been dealing with some things about DJ's family. I don't want to get into details but we struggle to find a balance. I wonder if other married couples have this problem. My family is VERY big on holidays. We have yearly rituals that I am used to and with my granny being sick, I don't want to miss a thing...however, I have been realizing by talking to Sherry (DJ's aunt/adoptive mother) that we neglect his family alot of times to do things with my family instead. I didn't even realize that they noticed! I thought that they just didn't really care so when she came to me and told me that it hurt her feelings, it was almost a sigh of relief. It was as if DJ and I were actually needed, wanted, desired. That sounds so corny but it's true. My family EXPECTS us to be there, but his family really WANTS us there.

So, how do we now find balance? I have always wanted to be a part of a big family and I love all of DJ's family dearly. It's just that they don't really seem interested in being here with the boys and their events. I wish that we could all just be one big happy family, but you know what? One day at a time. I am seeing small progress in my 90 days of change, but I am learning to be happy and just go with it.

So, here comes day three.... the day that I do something really fun and out of the ordinary with my kids. Everyday they ask me to play and I always say I'm busy, so today I have decided that whatever they ask me to do, I'm going to say YES!! There may be lots of pictures in the next post because they have big imaginations!!

Hey, I just thought of something, maybe they will ask me to go shopping!! A girl can dream right?!?