Summer Days...

The best thing about blogging is going back and looking at how life was year by year.

I wanted to blog how I have spent my summer so far....

This picture above just tells a huge story. First, the faces are typical. My kids will do anything to make me laugh. They fill my heart with such joy! I cannot imagine life without them and I'm glad we got to share the whole summer together. Second, the shirts tell another story that fills my summer - WWE wrestling. As you can tell from all our pictures and previous posts, my kids are obsessed. Netflix has added over 100 videos from WWE archives so every Tuesday and Wednesday night we try to find a new one to watch - and every other day of the week live wrestling is on TV. I would do anything to see these smiling faces :)
Some of our best moments this summer have been in our new pool. When we bought this house in October 2010, the pool had already been winterized. We have never had a pool at our home and I had never ventured out with the boys to a pool - because I cannot swim. So, for us to have a pool in the backyard makes for alot of swim time for my kids. They have the most fun when their daddy is here to join them. Sometimes I will wait until he is almost off work and let them get in so that they can be pleasantly suprised when he jumps in after work! Blaze has been working on swimming without a life jacket and swimming underwater and Ace has been doing better about learning to swim without depending on his life jacket and opening his eyes underwater. I am so very proud of them - and I think our next house will have to have a pool!

According to this picture, we have done alot of hoarding this summer - ha! I have spent ALOT of time going through all of our stuff and trying to sell it or give it away. I didn't realize after two kids and eight years together, just how much stuff we had accumulated. There is not enough storage space in this home (a must for the next home) so my guest room/office has become a nightmare. Alot of the next few days this summer will be spent giving away more stuff and getting some of this stuff packed up for when we do get our house sold and move (post to come).

I have been doing ALOT of bargain shopping - mainly for interior design decor to giveaway or use in my own home. I am starting school for Interior Design and I find myself buying great deals everywhere I go. This could be another reason for the uber messy guest room :)

The picture above, I found at Hobby Lobby. It had a price tag of $259. It has my favorite bible verse and this picture does not give it justice at all. The best part is that I bought this picture for $29! It is huge and will work perfect in our master bedroom - that is if I can ever convince my husband to hang my pictures. Yes hubby, i'm talking about you on my blog again.

This has been an amazing, fun filled summer with a few bad days in between. I will not be one of these blog mom who says that everyday we do art, go to the park, eat home cooked meals, and have adventurous filled days. Some days we eat junk food, watch movies, and stay in our pajamas. Some days just getting out of bed is hard for me because of my depression, but these two faces above are my reason for living - and it gives me hope - and fills me with thankfulness that God thought enough to give me these two perfect, smart, funny, charming, amazing little boys. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the summer brings for the Jackson family! :)

Moving My Thoughts :)

I have had so many issues with people reading and having negative responses on my facebook page. I have deleted it and re-activated it time and time again because of issues of something I said or posted. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a speaker - and I will say anything that I feel when I feel it no matter whom it might effect. It does NOT mean that I am a mean person, it just means that I like to express my feelings. I am real and honest and my feelings are true and deep rooted.

With that being said, I do realize that some people feel I am a little too open with information that some people may not want to know. I like to post pictures of things I buy, random things I see, places me and the kids go, etc. Some people in my life KNOW that that is just who I am, but others see that as bragging or just purely useless. At first I had that "I don't care what people think" attitude, but as I have grown older I realize that some things are just better left unsaid. I have been having so many struggles lately with my relationship with God. All people go through stages of grief when the experience a loss, but my "mad at God" stage seemed to last a little longer than I had hoped. I had to step back and take a good hard look at my life and the way that I was living - and had to come to a real, raw conclusion that God may have had a huge plan for my life and needed my child as an angel - for a reason!

My dear friend Brittani has given me a life lesson that most people will never get. She just confronted me with the cold hard truth. At first, I was extremely mad when she asked "are you mad at God?" I thought in my head "YES!!, but it's none of your business" so then I asked her "are you worried about me?" I sat here in my room and thought about the question she had asked me and it took her awhile to respond - and in that time I felt that maybe at some point while she was talking to God, he had put me on her heart - Me, little ole me, who has completely given up on my relationship with God. So when she text me back "yes", all the emotions flowed - and it made me think... really hard for a really long time. It made me realize that my friendship with her is a little deeper than I thought - and that as a Christian, I still am accountable for my life no matter what i'm going through!

My decision to re-activate my Facebook page and allow anyone and everyone to be my friend was a result of me deciding to post my photos and stories here on my blog rather than on Facebook. Anyone can be my friend on Facebook, see a photo, or read a status - but they cannot see into my real life unless they are a part of this blog. This blog will be private soon and I will spend more time here giving details of my day, talking interior design with my friends, and sharing my struggles with depression, infertility, and life as mom and wife. If you want to read these things, then you are welcome here - and if not, then that's okay too.

This is who I am - the real, raw, honest, me and for that I won't apologize.

Over the next few days you will notice alot of posts simply with pictures from the past or a random story. This is just to help me get all the photos and memories from Facebook and share them here. Once all of this work is done, I will continue my normal posts like always, but they will be private. Do not forget to become a follower by clicking the FOLLOW ME link currently on the left hand side. Thank you to all who have supported us and I look forward to sharing my life with my blogger friends.

My Poor Closet

I love when I hear people say "you are the perfect housewife."

What they don't realize is that almost ALL people that I know that blog only blog things that happen good in their life, they leave out the ordinary, the dirty, the raw stuff.

It doesn't mean we are fake, it means we don't feel the need to share everything...

with that being said - for those of you who think my house is extra clean and tidy, just take a look at this BEFORE picture of my master closet -

That is NO LIE what it looked like when I started and has looked like that for months. I was so ashamed. I would love to say that I did this clean up all by myself, but my dear hubby was the one that said "no more!" and so it started... he did a little work and while he was at work the next day, I just HAD to finish the job and make him proud! So here's the after -
Can you believe this beautiful transformation? I took this picture pre-vacuuming so excuse
the nasty floor, but OMG you have no idea how great it feels. I have to mention that the brown
chair on the back wall was made by my grandfather and was something I didn't want my kids to ruin so I hid it in my closet - and I will be placing my stuffed animals there in the near future.

I love how everything has a place. I finally have a few shelves for my Coach collection and some of my favorite pairs of shoes. I also made room for some of the kids art supplies that I didn't want to end up at the bottom of their nasty closet - I guess that will be my next big job! ha!!

This is my husband's corner and I wanted to post this picture because of the little bear at the top.

When I had just had Ace, we bought this bear at a store for .20 that said "world's best dad." It was about all I could afford at the time and the fact that he held onto it just made me remember why he is my husband :)

I want to see some of YOUR transformations. I am really suprised that so many people say they read my blog but nobody ever leaves comments or jumps on the bandwagons like "five things I love" or "befores and afters". I would love to see some of you in the blogging world participate and make this a friend thing! So, I encourage all my readers to do a before and after post - just one - at some point this month and come here and leave a comment that you did so I can check it out! :)

Victoria Beckham gives me Hope :)

Victoria Beckham welcomed a baby GIRL to the world yesterday... her fourth child - all boys. I think it's funny when people ask me if I hope for a girl because I already have two boys. I'm sure she felt the same way and then I read an article where she said she would keep trying until she had a girl to dress up and share that experience with. My husband would KILL me if that ever came out of my mouth! ha!! I am very happy for her though - and I heard she named her Harper Seven so I'm sure Kelly over at www.kellyskornerblog.com will love that :)

and how cute is the picture above? she is so beyond beautiful - especially when pregnant!

Justice For Children (Warning: Graphic)

This is a video about a 5 month old girl named Brianna Lopez. I just heard about her story via Facebook and it captured my heart - not in a good way. She was raped by her uncle and grandfather then tortured by her mother. Her grandmother and other uncles knew about the abuse and kept the secret. All people listed got less than 5 years in prison. The shocking part was that they didn't want to have a funeral for her so the town got together and had her buried and decorated her plot. When the family found out, they put a CAGE over her burial ground. I wanted to share this story in hopes that it will open eyes and make people think - child abuse is real, it is still around, and nobody is immune. If you think you know someone who is abusing or has been abused, tell somebody!

This has also made me think about all of those who choose to have abortions and all the babies out there who never have the opportunity to live a life. It makes me think about how although little Brianna's body may be in a cage, she is in a deeper place in the arms of Jesus and her body is the only thing left there. It also made me think about the child that I lost and how important it is to keep her alive in my heart through my works for others. I do plan to share her photo today and I have photoshopped it but it is still very hard to show. Please respect our decision for showing and keep comments moderated. Please do not share the photo or the website with anyone else. Hold your babies tight tonight - life is precious and tomorrow is not promised.