This is the house design we have been looking at since deciding to buy land. There are alot of things I love about it and some that I do not. This is actually alot more affordable than I could have imagined.

Do you like it? Does it look like a house that could fit five people including three small children? I have always dreamed of this and now my dreams are coming true!

What Was I Thinking?!?

What in the world was I thinking when I decided to start a business and build a house all at the same time? I must have been thinking to myself "Ashley, you are not stressed enough, let's throw a bunch more on top of you"

This could get messy - Please let there be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Baby Name Help!

Anybody want to dive into the world of baby names with me?

Did you say Yes?? Okay, then! :)

Girl Names

• Journee
• Macey
• Cali
• Stella
• Harper
• Brynleigh
• Willow

Boy Names

• Vadon
• Tyse
• Nathan
• Mack
• Cash
• Slade
• Liam
• Roman

All advice welcome ...

**Update: I added two polls for each set of names on the left side of the blog - please vote when you have the chance! thanks!!**

Change Is Coming... (Day 5 Finally!)

Barack Obama made a bold statement when he said he wanted "change".

I now make that same statement because I am eager for change (and hopefully I will have more success at "change" that what he has had.. but that is a whole other post!). I have realized a few things about myself -

• I wake up groggy and it's usually at an hour before I can function. This is probably because I have been sleeping 10-12 hours a night. In my defense, I am on a lot of meds, but that is no excuse. My kids have no also picked up this behavior and it saddens me.
• I spend alot of time ALONE. My husband works 10-12 hour days sometimes 2 weeks in a row before getting a day off. This tends to make me somewhat depressed and that sometimes ends up making me feel lazy.
• I do not like where I live. I feel very blessed and thankful that God has given me a beautiful home and family, but the town I live in just has nothing for children or young adults to get into unless you want to do something bad or end up in jail!

So, that's where the change comes. I have decided to make more changes to my lifestyle - big changes. You know that before I started the 90 Days Of Change and today I am picking back up with Day 5. Day 5 is all about making plans! Today, I have made some commitments and some mental notes about upcoming changes and I am going to start working to get them done ASAP. I know that change starts with me and it starts NOW. Some of the future changes I seek are a)to find a new home church b)find a new town to call home (post coming, I promise) c) join a moms/prayer group d) volunteer and tithe .. start giving! d) focus on my health and wellness a little more including eating, exercising, and better sleeping habits e) read the bible, study it more, get more in depth with my relationship with Christ and f) make new friends.

All of this is so important to me. Since I moved from Kingston 8 years ago, I have carried a hurt in my heart to return to my "neck of the woods." I think it was because I had a place there, a beautiful church, and I felt complete. Crossville is a great place and I am not trying to drag it down, but since I have had children, I have been disappointed in the lack of activities for children, the lack of drive for the churches to allow others to get involved, and the lack of young adults that actually want to do something productive with their lives. I think it may have something to do with the fact that 65% of people that live here, work in factories. That's crazy to think about, isn't it? That means there are alot of people here who don't even have the money or opportunity to do those things... which makes me upset that I am complaining that is what I desire.

With that being said, I am visiting a new church on sunday called Potter's House Fellowship. If you are in the area, you can check out the website at http://pottershousefellowship.org/ . It is in the Harriman/Midtown area about 15-20 miles from where we would like to build another house (again, I promise - new post!) I think I even have the whole family including my dad and my husband to join me on sunday to see what they think also. I have desired this my whole life, to have a place where my family can all join every sunday together. I would love to have a tradition of going to church and then coming home to eat a big meal home cooked by me while the boys play and my dad and husband talk sports or something. A girl can dream right?!?

The Youth Pastor there, Tony Ruff, also has a wonderful blog that I have been reading that actually inspired me to visit there in the first place. You can read all about him, his ministry, and his love for Christ at http://diginwithtonyruff.blogspot.com/ . He writes alot of thought provoking messages that help me understand more of what the church is all about. He spoke to me for about an hour today about how the church isn't so "churchy" and I thought that was cool. He also told me it was a "man's church." I love my husband dearly, but the fact that he works 12 hour days all the time makes it hard for him to get up on his days off to go to church in the first place. It is even harder to get him to a place where he feels like he can belong, dress as he pleases, and actually make lasting friendships. So, I was singing praises this morning for what Tony wrote to me - and it actually got me excited about what might be in the future!

So, the blog about the big move is coming soon... and it might suprise some and thrill others. I told you I need "change" and CHANGE is coming :)

Want some Free (or cheap) stuff?!?!

If you are my friend on facebook, make sure you take a look at my album called

"Facebook Auction"

I am looking to get rid of ALL of the stuff in my garage and around my house...

and since my yard sale was never a success due to illness

i've decided to just have an "auction" for my friends...

Some of the stuff I will give away to people that I know could use it more than me -

and some of it will be for sale but at very reasonable prices ....

so take a look at http://www.facebook.com/momtoblazenace

(If you are not my friend on facebook, you will have to send me a message stating that you saw this on blogger, otherwise I WILL NOT add you - I am very private on my FB. Thanks!)

By the way, all the pictures above are of items for sale and they are still available!

Immediate Prayers Needed!

Blogger friends - Please pray for this little girl below, Lauren Deal, who is five years old and currently in ICU. She was told last night that it was a miracle she made it through the night. She started with a bacterial infection while visiting grandparents in Pennsylvania and she has ended up with severe kidney and colon failure and was flown to Pittsburg. Her parents, Todd and Ashley Deal, are very close friends of mine, and they are really needing prayers. We need to pray that not only does she have a full recovery, but also that they can get into the local Ronald McDonald House and that Lauren can stop being as scared (she is frantic). I will post updates as often as possible... so send her all of your love and support (and if you would like to make a donation to help pay for the cost to keep the family there, please contact me at ashleyjackson24@ymail.com ).

The Future Of The WWE

Ahhh yes, it seems to be very clear to me what my child wants to do with the rest of his life. He is the future of the WWE and if you forget that, he will remind you by a drop kick to the stomach while you are attempting to unload the dishwasher! My house is so full of love, but right now it is also full of energy - and a whole lot of wrestling :)

Could it happen....?

Could we get some PINK in our house full of BLUE??

I guess we will find out soon enough! :)

Fourth Of July 2010

I know I am wayyy behind, but it just dawned on me that I never shared my pictures from the fourth of July. I got so sick on our anniversary the next day and didn't even remember to post them! So here they are... ENJOY!

We spent the fourth of July in my hometown, Kingston TN, for the eighth year in a row together! I have been doing the whole "fireworks at the park" thing my whole life! Kingston has one of the best shows in the state and they also have boat races and a watermelon eating contest! Who could resist that!?!

The boys loved spending time with their dad.
We love the USA! Thank you troops past and present for FREEDOM!

Group picture during fireworks (I cut off Ace's head!)

The fireworks in Kingston were BEAUTIFUL this year!

A picture of me with two men I adore, my hubby and daddy!

...And here are the other two men in my life I adore :)

They enjoyed the small carnival rides they had downtown...

...And we even got to sit them on a motorcycle that they loved!

It was such a great day as a family!!

And... I just had to add this picture. This is Ace pretending he is John Cena.

If you don't know who John Cena is - he is a WWE wrestler and my kids love him!!

Thank you to all of those who have served or are serving our country so that my children may sleep safe at night. Thank you to all of the women and children that they leave behind because you all are just as important.

Thank you to my grandfather Sammie Wilson, my father Rondel Wilson, my cousin Mike Russell, my cousin Deanna Russell, my cousin Derek Kennedy, and all other family and close friends who have chosen to serve...

and thank you to the ultimate soldier who paid the ultimate price

Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

Proud Poppi

My father always wanted to have more children but never got the chance. Growing up as an only child (although I do have a half sister and a few step siblings) was fun, but sometimes lonely. My dad got re-married a few times, but never had anymore kids, but me. So, when he found out I was a pregnant teen, he was probably a little more understanding than most fathers are. He loves having grandchildren, especially having grandsons. I just had to come post these pictures that I took a few weeks ago because I wanted to share these memories. The kids love their poppi and want to call him every single night. They bond with him over baseball, soccer, and WWE! My dad meant the world to me growing up - and now he means the world to them too!

So, this post is dedicated to him :)

(And dad, by the way, I hope to give you more grandchildren someday - maybe even a granddaughter!)

Take A Look At Me Now!

I Love My New Blog Design!! It is the best money I have spent in a long time! I absolutely love having a place that shows off my personality and just express myself. I know I'm one of millions of bloggers out there who are juggling being a southern housewife, stay at home mom, chef, taxi, maid, nanny, and all the other jobs out there so it's nice to have this place for me to share stories, pictures, and to vent. I love all my blogger friends and hope to make even more in the future. So, if you are here reading, I encourage you to

1. Follow Me! Click the "become a follower" or "follow" button on the right hand sidebar.
2. Grab My Button! The HTML Code is on the left hand sidebar.
3. Write Me A Comment To Let Me Know You're Reading! I love knowing that others are here with me listening!

...And, if you have a family blog, business blog, or website you would love for me to advertise here, let me know! You can send me a comment here or email me at ashleyjackson24@ymail.com . Hope to hear from my readers soon - and enjoy the new blog! :)

Time For TEEN MOM

One of my favorite shows ever is Teen Mom. I started watching the very first episodes called Sixteen and Pregnant. I have no idea what is so great about this show, but it is raw and real and shows the emotional ups and downs of being a mom. Although I wasn't sixteen, I was nineteen and it is not easy...but HERE I AM. I have alot to be thankful for...

If you haven't watched the show, I encourage you to check it out. I found this video on youtube highlighting the very first season of Teen Mom and that will help you kind of catch up. You can also go to www.mtv.com/teenmom and see alot of past episodes and big clips from the show. Below is a little bit to get you started ....



The shows comes on tonight at 10et/9ct and I will be back posting my thoughts on the show so come back and check it out!!

Boring Bedrest!

Today is day number four of me being in the bed. I wish I had some quirky little post to put here, but the truth is that I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND. Today is my husband's first day back to work leaving me here with two little kids who have to be entertained every waking moment of the day?? Somebody SAVE ME!!!! Ahhhhh!!!

So, before I go... I want to know. Who do you think Ali is going to choose on the Bachelorette? I went on Reality Steve (www.realitysteve.com) and so far everything he said has been right, but I never would have guessed the ending. I have a feeling tonight's show will be realllly good.

Also, I am jumping out of my seat with excitement that Teen Mom is coming on tommorrow night for it's second season. I just can't seem to get enough of Maci, Farrah, Catelynn, and Amber! (More posting on this soon, I promise!)

This is the week that my designer is planning the big reveal for my new blog look so keep checking in... I am so excited! She does great work and has reasonable prices... and she has really taken my design ideas and ran with them. She will have a blog button installed that takes you right to her sight so I encourage anyone wanting a new look to check her out!

Babies, Babies, Babies

Mathias Benjamin Flippen

born to my friends Ashley and Stephen Flippen!

Saylor Dean Bow

born to one of my best friends, Amber Bow, and her husband Tony!

Emmett Samuel Aune
born into my family yesterday (he is my second cousin)
named after my Grandfather Sammie Dee Wilson

Paighton Elizabeth Griffis
born at 26 weeks gestation (and weighing only 1lb,8oz!)
to my friends Jordon and Krystal Griffis

And this little lady up here is PREGNANT!! Her name is Lacey and we have been great friends since I moved here eight years ago. She has had two failed pregnancies including one that made her very sick so this is such a blessing for her! Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy for Lacey and I will be sure to post her progress soon!!

So............... who's next????

Worst. Day. Ever.

Yesterday was the absolute worst day of my life. I woke up with the most horrible pains throughout my body. I felt like I had been run over by a truck, but I hadn't done anything the day before. My husband was off work THANK GOD, I called my mom and begged her to help me because I could barely move. As the day went on, it only got worse. I got the worst migraine which ended up causing me to have severe vomiting which then came with a 102 fever. I was in and out of it for about 20 hours straight. I had to wonder if something serious was going on considering I haven't been well for months over something called Endometriosis. I encourage everyone reading who doesn't know what that is to look it up and learn more - especially the ladies reading in childbearing years.

Anyways, I had to share because it got me to thinking about all of the women, men, and children out there suffering with cancer or other illnesses. Some of them probably feel like that for days or weeks at a time. It made me want to pray and talk to God and just tell him thank you for healing me and for giving me the strength to heal.

Next post.... Babies, Babies, Babies!

Awesomeness!

I absolutely love So You Think You Can Dance!

I have been watching this show since it started in the United States and every season it just gets better and better! Some of my favorites from all seasons are Kerrington, Chelsea, Lauren, Benji, Lacey, Ivan, Allison, Alex, Dominic, and Adecheke!

So, here are some of my favorite dancers and dances....




Bleeding Love By Chelsea and Mark was nothing short of amazing. It brought me to tears because of the raw emotion.



The next was Sexy Love By Ivan and Allison. This was the first hip hop routine that got my attention on the show. This couple was the first to bring out the "it" factor of the show, in my opinion.



It would not be complete if I didn't show Calling You by Heidi and Travis. This still to this day brings tears to my eyes.. and changed the way I looked at dance. Next week during SYTYCD (Wednesday to be exact!) I will be posting three more of my favorite routines! YAY!

Since we are on the topic of a television show, let me just go ahead and warn you - I AM A HUGE SIXTEEN AND PREGNANT FAN! I will be going off my rocker over and over about this show so beware!

As promised...

There are still more changes coming soon... in the past two weeks, we have dealt with a medical emergency, our house being pulled off the market, then two houses we put in bids for being outbid by someone else... so hectic doesn't even describe it! I will pick back up with the 90 day challenge and the blog design once I have a moment of piece around here! I promise to blog soon!!

Anyone watching So You Think You Can Dance this season? I plan to make a whole post for this soon!

Day Four of 90 Day Challenge!

I added a picture of me and Ace getting treat bags ready for Halloween last year because today's challenge is to organize something that I would normally just ignore. Normally, when packing to move, I will pack all of my favorite things first and I will overlook the drawers and cabinets until the last minute. Today, I have packed up all kinds of junk that I don't want to have to deal with in a few weeks when we have to pack up everything and move out of our "dream home". Yes, we are giving up the house we always dreamed of - and it's because our dream home became a complete nightmare! That's all whole other post that I completely want to write when I have a little more time. Right now I have two little boys in a bathtub and if I leave them there too long my floor will be covered in water and they will be trying to drown each other. Be back tonight to post some more!

7 Years Of Wedded Bliss!

I cannot begin to put into words what my husband means to me, but if I could they are these: I met my husband in a "weird" situation. I had never been in a bar and my dad talked me into going to one with my friend Maranda because it was Halloween and I was depressed over a recent, very ugly breakup with my high school sweetheart. So, I threw some clothes on and headed out of town... and the rest is history. When I first walked through the door, there stood a boy with bright blue eyes and long eyelashes. I could NOT get him out of my head. I tried to flirt, even tried to play footsie, but he was there with another girl so I left it alone. I got into my car and told my friend that "I couldn't believe he didn't even notice me." Two weeks later I went back to the same place. I have never told him this, but I went there in hopes that I would see him again. When I first walked in, I saw him standing with some friends near the DJ booth so I talked my friend into walking over there to request a song. He grabbed me by the arm and the rest I don't even remember. It was like we had known each other all along.
Everything that we did from then on, we did very quickly. We moved in together and got pregnant way too quick. I was 19 years old and felt as if my dreams were being washed away with the "foreverness" of a child and a husband, but I knew that my family would be upset if I was an unwed mother. We set a date for July 5, 2003 after just 3 months of dating. I had never even met my mother or sister in law. We told everyone we were having a baby and we got mixed reviews, but we kept on pushing on. It was a real struggle not only to adjust to living on our own for the first time, but also planning a wedding, taking on college, being broke as broke can get, and the biggest thing - being pregnant. We got through it though, day by day and step by step. It wasn't always pretty, but it was worth it. July 5, 2003 is a day that I will never ever forget. It was the day that I realized I was someone's wife and someone's mom. We knew we were having a boy and everything just came together. I spent alot of time on my knees just praying that we would make it. Things weren't the best, but the hard times made us stronger.

After we got married, we had a little boy named Blaze that stole both of our hearts. When you see your husband hold your baby for the first time, you just fall in love all over again. For months, I didn't get up ONE time in the middle of the night because DJ enjoyed getting up and spending time with him. Although we didn't have money and actually moved from house to house, we had each other - and it was beautiful. In 2005, when Blaze was just a year old, we knew we wanted another baby. People thought we were crazy! We both just became the ripe old age of 21 (ha!) and most of our friends weren't even marriage, but we did it again. Here came our second little boy, Ace, and things got hectic. We couldn't deal with the stress of two kids, no money, and no time together. Our hardest times were the first two years that we had two kids. We had one car that DJ had to drive back and forth to work so I was stuck at home - all the time. It really tested my mental stability and my love for my family. It also tested my faith because I remember leaning alot on that when I didn't have anything else. Then, slowly but surely, things started happening for DJ at work and his hard effort started paying off. Things seemed to get better, but other things were getting worse. We were so focused on our kids that neglected each other and at times, I felt us slipping away. I just hung on with everything I had - and I never thought I would be sitting here today wishing my husband a happy seven years of marriage!

God slowly began to show me what a great mother and wife I could truly be. We decided that forever meant forever and that we were going to do anything and everything to keep this family from falling apart. We also decided that two kids just wasn't enough ... so we started trying for a third little blessing - and we quickly got one. I was due on November 23, 2010 with my last baby. Soon after, I started bleeding and could not stop. I knew something was wrong and I found out the baby did not survive. My heart ached for that little baby who I just knew was a girl. We planned to name her Journee Elizabeth Cherry or Vadon just in case she was a boy :)

I continued to bleed for 60 days until the doctors (and my miracle healer, Jesus Christ) put a stop to it. After tests, we found out that I have had previous miscarriages and fibroids before and had some extreme scarring. We may not ever be able to have another child again. So, I was devastated .. but I learned something that I will never forget - my husband is my biggest support. I watched him work twelve hour days and come home to take care of me and the kids without complaining. I watched him cry while I cried because I thought I was going to die. I heard him talk about me to other people as if I was the greatest person that walked this planet. With the loss of this baby, I learned just how much my husband truly loved me. Something grew in my heart that I cannot even expressed. I may have loved this man with all my heart before, but somewhere in my soul I found a love for him even deeper. He became the best thing that continued to happen to me every minute of everyday.

Today, I am more in love with him than ever before. No matter what trials we face, I know I don't have to face them alone. I feel a peace in my heart when his hand is in mine and he takes all the pain away with just a kiss or a hug. I always knew that fairy tales existed, but I didn't think my marriage would be one of them. Looking back at getting married at 19, I never realized what hard work and dedication it would take to actually be married. I thought it was just a new last name and a piece of paper, but I was wrong. Marriage is about more than just a wedding and a honeymoon. It is a bond that no man can destroy and that only our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, can give. When I think about this man he gave me to be mine, I could not ever thank him enough.

Thank you, Douglas Keith Jackson, for giving me the best seven years of my life. I will spend the rest of my life catering to you and showing you what a great wife and mother that I can be. Each day I wake up thanking God that he gave me to you. I try to be submissive and your "helper" just as the image in the bible. I admire your hard work and dedication both at work and at home. I can never thank you enough for allowing me to be a stay at home mom to our children. You will never know how much it means to me when you just put your arms around me when i'm upset. If you have ever wondered, you are everything and so much more that I could ever want in a husband. You have exceeded my expectations as to how I wanted my fairy tale to come true. You are my prince charming, my very best friend, and the best father that I have ever seen with their kids. You make me smile just by being here. You still give me butterflies when you walk through the door or say I love you from the other side of the phone. As long as I live, I will spend my life making you as happy as you have made me by anyway I possibly can. Thank you for loving me through everything, especially the pain and for making it okay to let down my walls. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing me how to be me. You are the love of my life and the reason that I am who I am today. I hope to spend another 90 anniversaries with you and to rock our grandbabies to sleep on the back porch someday. I can't wait to see what the future holds - and I just have that feeling like God is going to bless us with another baby.. but honey, if he doesn't, we still have each other and for that, I am the luckiest woman on earth. Love, your wife

...And Happy Anniversary to my grandparents who are celebrating their 56th wedding anniversary tommorrow!!

Day Three....progress.

Haha! My kids are following right along in my footsteps. They love to "read" what I write about them. If they could have their own laptop, they would jump on that chance. Anyway, yesterday I wrote that I was going to write a letter to myself. Well, it ended up being a pep talk I guess. It went a little something like this...

Ashley, quit sitting on your butt and being frustrated about everything and everyone around you. You have been so blessed with a good man and two great kids, but you can't see it because you are blinded by the stress and heartache. Go outside, have a little fun, give yourself a break!

Wow, all that from my inner self I guess. It was totally weird that I was talking to myself, but looking at my face I could see how the stress was getting to me. As if yesterday's challenge wasn't hard enough, i've also been dealing with some things about DJ's family. I don't want to get into details but we struggle to find a balance. I wonder if other married couples have this problem. My family is VERY big on holidays. We have yearly rituals that I am used to and with my granny being sick, I don't want to miss a thing...however, I have been realizing by talking to Sherry (DJ's aunt/adoptive mother) that we neglect his family alot of times to do things with my family instead. I didn't even realize that they noticed! I thought that they just didn't really care so when she came to me and told me that it hurt her feelings, it was almost a sigh of relief. It was as if DJ and I were actually needed, wanted, desired. That sounds so corny but it's true. My family EXPECTS us to be there, but his family really WANTS us there.

So, how do we now find balance? I have always wanted to be a part of a big family and I love all of DJ's family dearly. It's just that they don't really seem interested in being here with the boys and their events. I wish that we could all just be one big happy family, but you know what? One day at a time. I am seeing small progress in my 90 days of change, but I am learning to be happy and just go with it.

So, here comes day three.... the day that I do something really fun and out of the ordinary with my kids. Everyday they ask me to play and I always say I'm busy, so today I have decided that whatever they ask me to do, I'm going to say YES!! There may be lots of pictures in the next post because they have big imaginations!!

Hey, I just thought of something, maybe they will ask me to go shopping!! A girl can dream right?!?

90 DC: Day 2

I wish I could say that today was better than yesterday, but I don't like to lie. I have spent my day on an emotional roller coaster. I yelled at my kids and at my husband and then yelled at myself (yes, I talk to myself!). When do the kids go back to school again?

So, for today's 90 days of change I haven't picked out anything to do. Here it is at 8pm and I haven't "changed" anything. So, as I'm writing I hope something is coming to me ... nothing yet.

I have been dealing with so much emotionally. I think the past is coming back to haunt me. I was filled with anger, stress, and insecurity - and those are not pretty things to have as a housewife and stay at home mom. I feel like everything I thought I had changed about myself is starting to resurface. I thought I was learning to balance life at home with two children while my husband is ALWAYS at work, but everyday I learn something new about myself.

Ah-ha! I've got it. I'm going to write a letter to myself. Today, for my 90 day challenge, I am going to write a letter to myself about what I need to change from now on. After all, 90 days of change will never happen if I don't acknowledge the problem in the first place.. (Dr. Phil would be so proud!)

So, there it is. I may even share my letter with my readers later so stay tuned....