Leave the mending to the Mender, love.

It's a simple title yet so big you cannot really put into words.  What does that word even mean? and how did I get where I am today? I want to start by saying that God works in such a big way even when we do not think he is working.  As I sat at my computer tonight (on Facebook just doodling to be honest), I started getting really tired (two kids will do that to you) and decided I would just call my husband who is still at work and tell him I was going to go to bed early and watch a movie.  The kids are already in bed so it's quiet and I've had a bit of a hectic day so the last thing I wanted to do was come here and blog.

So, here I am of course. (ha!)

In a split second decision after talking to my husband and realizing he was already on his way home and I should stay up and wait for him, I decided to go read a blog I read often called "Bring The Rain."  It is written by Christian Author Angie Smith who started this blog after a diagnosis during pregnancy that left her wondering "why?". It is also in memory of her precious daughter Audrey that passed away soon after birth and she shares some of the most intimate moments of her life as not only a mom, wife, and author, but also as a woman of God who sometimes struggles with the everyday things that get us down.  She is such an inspiration to so many people, but today her words lifted me out of my seat and honestly, set a fire to my soul.  I had that "exactly what I needed to read" moment that we all at some point in our lives seem to have when someone is sharing a story that you swear they wrote for you. 

She wrote Leave the mending to the Mender, love.

Those of you who read my blog know that I am going through a huge situation right now with my family and that in the past, I have endured two tragic miscarriages that have left me feeling not good enough and broken.  In a way, that seems to be the theme for my life in general.  I didn't have the best relationship with my parents at times and as a teen I got into alot of things that left me feeling shameful and really lost.  I got pregnant as a teenager and felt the right thing to do was get married so I jumped into that as well and in some ways, failed miserably.  I struggled with being a young mom and let the people in my life drag me down and tell me I wasn't good enough.  Then, at 21, I ended up pregnant again.  My family wasn't of much help and my husband was working long hours to put food on the table.  I felt like there just had to be a better life out there for me.

In the meantime, I became bitter, angry, resentful, hurt, and... lost. 

These last few weeks, I have thought alot about the babies that I never got the chance to meet.  Our first we found out for sure was a girl that we chose to name Allie and I often wonder what she would be doing today in her little toddler life.  Would she have blonde hair like her oldest brother or be spunky like little man?  Would she have her daddy wrapped around her finger or be a total mommy's girl that loved pink and shopping.  But then, other thoughts come to mind...

What if she was sick and God knew that I couldn't handle that at the time in my life? After all, he knows every bit of our future as much as our past and he does things for the good of us even though we don't deserve it. I stopped wanting to question why she wasn't here and started wanting to praise him for the two children that I did have here on Earth.  Praising him for the other angels we lost that made us realize just how precious life is.  I praise him for the wonderful life he has given me.  The fact that I chose to get married at 19 because I was ashamed I was pregnant yet he gave me a man I call my best friend and after 10 years of marriage, here we are, happier than ever.  Maybe these angels were meant to touch the lives of others as well.  After all, this blog wouldn't even be here today had I not lost my precious little Allie Grace.  I would not have my dear friend, Courtney, who I met because someone had sent her the link to my blog when she lost her sister. 

I now have plans to start a group for women who have suffered the loss of a child and we hope to grow into something as big as what God wants us to be.  I have used my pain and tragedy to impact the lives of others and in return, my heart has mended.  Even writing this blog post tonight has been an eye opener for me.  When I saw on her blog that she was asking women to write about their own mending experiences, I didn't realize how healing it would be.  I just wanted to come here and have the chance to write a post and win a really cool prize (Angie is giving away a spa package to one lucky winner and a friend so I thought why not?) but now as I finish up this blog I realize that I've already won. 

You can find Angie's Blog Bring The Rain at http://angiesmithonline.com/.

The reason for this blog contest is to celebrate the release of her all new book. It is wonderfully titled Mended and you can purchase by clicking on either link below: (I am not tech savvy and haven't figured out how to simplify these so excuse the long link.)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mended-angie-smith/1111318078?ean=9781433676604

http://www.amazon.com/Mended-Pieces-Life-Made-Whole/dp/1433676605/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347327784&sr=8-1&keywords=mended+angie+smith

If you decide to purchase the book, please let me know as I would love to hear how amazing it is!  I will probably go this week to purchase my own copy and share at women's group next week!  I would also love to hear stories of how God has mended your life so feel free to leave me a comment or even a long story in my email at ashleywilsonjackson@gmail.com.  I would feel so blessed to win this because I just don't take enough time to do things with friends and I know exactly who I would take with me. 

And, if you or someone you know is struggling with something in your life, remember not only what she wrote but his promise...

Leave the mending to the Mender, love.

1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 - For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

This Weekend Was A Blast!

 

We had a really good weekend!

 

A good weekend was much needed after the week that we had.  We needed some mom and son time and a chance to just relax and have some fun.

 

We went to play at a nearby park and the boys made some friends.

 The boys were so sweaty by the time we left..even though it was like 72 degrees.

 We celebrated DJ's 29th birthday by making him some homemade gifts.

We also bought him Madden 13 for PS3 which he loved and still plays everynight.

(Boys and their toys, right?)

 My little sweetie Blaze picked up this notebook for me for church.

He has such a kind and giving heart.

 We had a full day Saturday of Shopping and Visiting with friends. 

We stopped by Chick Fil A first for some lunch and to play a little...

 Blaze's friend Joslyn (her dad writes the blog Diggin In With Tony for Potters House Church) invited him and his little brother to a party at a gymnastics place in Knoxville.

I will admit that the boys almost didn't go because they thought it would be alot of girls and maybe a little tumbling or something corny (his words not mine)

BUT THEY HAD A BLAST!!!

 The place was FULL of kids and stuff for them to bounce and jump on.

Blaze actually decided he wants to have his party there too after seeing all the excitement.

It came at a good time because we have been talking about moving to that area (about thirty minutes from where we live now) and this place was just five minutes down the road.

 We have started going to a church (mainly online for now) that is about ten miles from DJ's work so while we were in the area, we decided to let the boys try the FP Kids program out and check out a Saturday night sermon - and it was amazing!  We have been trying so hard to find a church to fit the needs of our growing faith and we have felt at times that we would just never fit in anywhere.

Sometimes, you just walk into a church and feel that they are all friends and have grown up together and there is just no room for one more person, but as you can see by the photo below, there is plenty of room there to grow in alot of ways .. not just physically as you can see by the large building but also in your family and in your faith.  If God gives us another child we would know that they would be well taken care of during our services and the kids program is also top notch. 

I plan to do a full blog about the church in the near future for those that are in the area and would like to know more about why we chose this church and what we see going on in the future.

 

I also wanted to say that I took a break from the thirty day challenge after we finished on Sunday.  I will be picking it back up tommorrow with Day Four and the next blog post above will be about the next five or so days in case you are keeping along in your own journey -

and if you are, i'd like to hear from you!

 

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!!

Oh, and GO TITANS!!!!!



A Little Hometown Football

We have started thinking about moving (yet again ugh) a little closer to DJ's work..

and to this new church we have been trying out, so we decided last night we would catch a local football game at my old hometown of KINGSTON :) 

 

They beat Scott County 35-7 and it was a really good game to take the boys to! 

 

 

We have a tradition every Friday because DJ gets off work early that we take the boys somewhere to eat out.  We have started a new rule that we only eat out during the weekends and for our family, that is a big deal.  This time last year we were eating ALL meals out.  I literally had not cooked a meal in a year before we moved here. 

While we were there, we got the chance to see my little neice, Sophia.  Her mother is my half sister and due to some family circumstances, we don't get to see her as often as we like.  She was grown into such a beautiful little girl and the boys loved being able to sit with her and her friends :)

 



 

My husband bought me these bright orange shoes and I love them!! They are perfect for both Kingston games and of course, the BIG ORANGE VOLS!!!

 

 

As always, I had a wonderful night out spending time with my little family.  We are cherishing the time that we are now able to spend together.  We spent so many years never getting the chance to spend time with DJ due to his work schedule, so we don't waste any night we have available with him now!

 

 

 



An Update On Blaze & Ace! :)

Colton Blaze Jackson is now 8 (and a half) years old.  He is in the third grade at KES.  His teacher's name is Mrs. Thurman.  He is currently on the all A honor roll.  He says this is his best year ever and he seems to love the school so far.  His favorite subject in school is Math.  His best friend in school is Kane, but he will always have Kobe as his number one best friend.  He loves to play all sorts of football whether it be Madden on the PS3 or at home in the yard.  He weighs 50 pounds and is a little over 3 feet tall.  He is a great big brother.  This year is his first year wearing glasses at school.  He is very well behaved, likes going to church, always begs to play on the computer, and is just a joy to be around. 

Landon Ace Jackson is 6 years old.  He is in the first grade at KES.  His teacher's name is Mrs. Plemons.  He is quickly learning to read on a higher level than expected.  He has really calmed down compared to last year.  He really likes school and especially loves his teacher.  His best friend at school is Connon, but he also has other friends all over TN because we have moved alot.  His favorite subject in school is PE.  He weighs pretty much the same as his brother and is almost three feet tall.  He reminds us every Saturday night that Sunday is church day, he absolutely loves visiting his daddy at work, and he has filled our life with more joy than we could ever imagine.