One Month

It has been one month since we lost our baby and not a day goes by that I don't do the normal "what if's". You try to find a new normal after you have lost a child. I have had 3 miscarriages prior to this miscarriage and I truly understand that every miscarriage is different, but the real struggle was the labor and actually having to see the baby that just shakes your world as you know it.

Some of you have asked a few questions that I wanted to try to answer. The first was how we actually found out the sex of the baby. We did not know the sex of the baby so we chose to have testing done to find out and also to test for chromosome abnormalities. A few people asked how I got so sick so quick. Without being too graphic, I did not pass my afterbirth until two days later and I was at home alone so I decided to bag it up and take it straight to the hospital as well. They did testing there to learn that I had a staph infection and we are not sure whether I had it before or after. I had a urinary tract infection one month prior to this and any and all meds were just not clearing it up. I haven't been very healthy for about two years especially after my 3rd miscarriage last November where I bled for 60 days straight after and had many other complications. We believe that there was some negligence on part of our medical staff because of things they said and did prior to the loss of our child, but we have since contact a lawyer and a specialist and plan to pursue legal action if necessary. The last question seems to be either can we get pregnant again or will we try again and the answer is YES. We were given the okay to try again as of June 19th. We do plan to try again with no meds and we are also looking into fostering and adoption.

I am so lucky that I have had so many friends to help me get through all of this and carry me along the way. I have people writing me everyday telling me how my story touched their life. I encourage you to make a donation in Allie's honor if you are lead to do so. Thank you for everything and as long as I have people reading, I will continue to share my story...

I will eventually be sharing a picture of our baby. This picture is very graphic in nature. I will simply post a link to the photo and those of you who have asked to see her and pray for her and spend time seeing her can choose to look at the photo or print. Please do not share this photo with anyone else without my permission. I will edit this post with the link when I have finished.